Pornography Is A Lie

I had an interesting discussion one time with a bunch of teenagers about the subject of pornography.
The teenagers were students of mine, most of them seniors, in a Lifeskills class for kids with disabilities.
The text we were using covered everything from how to write a check, rent an apartment, get a job, fix your car, shop for groceries, and avoid arrest, tornadoes, flash floods and sexual diseases. We learned how to stay healthy, choose a mate, and plan for parenthood.
Well, we were in the middle of the chapter covering sexual matters, knee deep in STD’s, when the subject of pornography came up.
None of these kids were LDS and when someone mentioned porn, 100% of them said they viewed it regularly.
I kept quiet about the subject until the next day when I posted my regular discussion starter in its usual place on the door. It said……

                             
                                   PORNOGRAPHY IS A LIE

As the kids entered the room there were a lot of comments like, “Wazup? Ms Dub (W)?   How can pictures be lies?”   and   “ Ms Dub, we knew you’d be against porn cause you’re really old and all “churchy.”
That sort of thing.

After everyone was seated I began my explanation.
I told them that this class was all about learning to live full and rewarding lives despite any handicaps a person might have and that basing your life on the truth was an important part of that.
We were trying to learn true principles in lots of different areas from finances to parenting skills and apply them to our lives.
Sex was no different. Principles were involved.
I told them that indeed I was “old and churchy” but that didn’t necessarily make me wrong.
Sex, I explained, was one of the most powerful forces known to mankind and one that can bring happiness or misery into people’s lives depending on how its handled.
I asked them to think hard and see if they knew of someone who was now miserable because of messing up with sex.
They didn’t have to think hard at all…. everybody knew someone. Often that someone was in their own family.

I continued….  “Understanding the truth about something as important to happiness as sex is would be necessary to living a fulfilling life, wouldn’t it?”

“Yea, Yea, Yea……why’s porn a lie? someone  said.

 “Because” I went on, “Porn tells its viewers that great sex is something it’s not."

Porn tells people that great sex is something people do with strangers, or do for money, or pay money for. That it’s a group activity, a spectator sport, an exhibition, or something you do in front of a camera. That it’s all about the size of certain body parts, or how a person looks.
Porn tells people that it’s OK for sex to be a weapon, a crime, a game, a joke, a job, a contest, a bribe, a payoff, or something you do because you want to be popular.  
Porn tells people that sex is only about sensations in bodies and that it has nothing to do with the human spirit. That it doesn’t change you, that it means nothing, that feelings don’t matter.
Porn says that a condom is all you need to be protected from harm.
Well, each and every one of those things is a lie. If you want to build a life of misery, build it on a pack of lies.”

“Furthermore,” I added emphatically, “all of you know that porn is not only a lie but that it’s wrong.”

“Wait up, Ms Dub….no way,” said one of the students. Then a chorus of “Nobody makes those people do those things…we’re just looking…. Besides it looks like they’re having a real good time….Everybody watches porn”…etc.

“Stop. I can prove that you know the truth,” I said.
“Get out paper and pencil….we’re taking the “Porn Test.”

"A test?” more than one kid whined.

“Stop complaining,” I said, “There’s only one question.

The kids looked up from their seats expectantly.
I could see all of their faces and the whites of their eyes.
I told them that on second thought they could put their pencils away, they only had to “Think” the answer to the test question.
But they had to promise to be honest with that one answer.

Agreed.

I didn’t tell them the most important thing I knew about them at this point.
I couldn’t tell them because we had kids of all faiths in our student body.
It wouldn’t be appropriate to mention Christ in this situation as much as I wanted to.

Nevertheless, I knew that each of them, no matter what their faith, was born with the light of Christ.
The scriptures taught us that.
That light helps all Heavenly Father’s children to know right from wrong, good from bad.
They all had that light to see by whether they knew it or not.

So I gave them the test.            
Counting on that light I asked the question.

“Pretend you’re looking at pornography as you usually do. Pretend that the images are right there in front of you now.
Now, look deep down in your own heart, mind, and spirit.
Be still and listen.
Be honest.
Isn’t something saying...

This is wrong. What those people are doing isn’t good. It’s wrong. It’s wrong for them and I shouldn’t be watching because I know it’s wrong for me too.                                                                                        
Isn’t something saying that to you? Look at me so I can see the answer in your eyes.”

My students looked up at me. I could read their answers plainly.
Every single face in that class…. every one…. told the truth about pornography.
THEY ALL KNEW.

There was a kind of sheepish shuffling of feet and desks at that point and then one kid said, “Okay, Ms W…. Then what is great sex?”

“You’re asking an “old, churchy” lady a question like that?
Do you really want to know what I think?”

“Yea, sure…why not?” someone said.

“Well then, I have to tell the truth even though you probably won’t like it.
Sex is a precious, divine gift given to a man and a woman who are MARRIED.

Some of  life’s greatest blessings come to people through sex.
You can become one with another human being through sex. You can get closer to them and connect with them more fully than in any other way.
And the greatest love you will ever feel will come into your life through sex because your children and grandchildren will come into being because of it.

Probably most important of all, sex can never be great unless first there is love.
It has to be the mature, unselfish, building a life together kind of love.
The, "Your happiness is more important to me than my own," kind of love.
Only if there’s love like that can sex be all it was designed to be.”

Pornography is a big, fat, lie. 
It hurts people. 
Don’t live a life filled with lies.