His Mother Wasn't Home

School will be out for the summer soon.
This is an old post reprinted as a caution to mothers with sons.
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Teenage boys aren’t known for their sound judgment.
In fact, scientific studies show that the portion of their brains that control this skill isn’t fully developed yet.
Having taught high school for many years I can testify to the truth of that science.

Because of this developmental delay a great deal of the world’s mischief has been invented at the hands of teenaged boys.
But in my opinion they didn’t do this alone.
Their mothers have to share in the blame.
They weren’t home at the time to put a stop to said mischief before it got out of hand.

I know this is true because nobody but a teenaged boy would think of some things. And because no woman I know would have let their son be the first kid to do the crazy stuff we have to deal with today.

For example…….

Two teenaged boys stand outside a pasture leaning on the fence. Inside, peacefully grazing is the biggest, meanest, Brahma bull for miles around. Cyclone is it’s name. One kid says to the other…

“Hey, I know what let’s do! Let’s go in there and one of us climb on the back of old Cyclone. Then we'll kick him in the sides until he throws us off, stomps us into the dirt, and breaks both of our legs!  We can get some of  our friends to time us with a stopwatch. The one that stays on longest and is still alive will win a new belt buckle!”

“Great! says the other kid. Me first!”  

Both of those kids had mothers who weren’t home that day. I guarantee it.

Or ……

It’s summer…no school…everybody’s bored. One teenaged friend says to the other as they finish putting rubber bands on the newspapers they’re about to deliver.

“What do you want to do today…go to the movies?"                                                                                  
“Nah…I have a better idea,” his friend says as he bands the last paper. “Lets hike up to 5 mile bridge and tie big rubber bands to our feet.  Then we'll dive off the bridge headfirst into the rocky river and see if we survive!  It’ll be cool!”

“That sounds like it might be dangerous,” says the other guy. “I better ask my mom first…Oh, I forgot…she’s not home today. OK, I’m sure she won’t mind. Let’s go!”

And then there’s…..

Best friends…Saturday afternoon….looking for something fun to do.

“Hey, I know what…..Let’s build a big playpen in your backyard and put pads on our hands.  Then we'll get in the playpen and beat each other in the head until we’re senseless and one of us falls down with brain damage!  Our friends can throw water on us to keep us conscious and the last one standing will win a new belt!” (Belts must be really important to teenagers)

“Okay……cool!”

And don’t forget…….

“Hey….my friend says he’ll take us for a ride in his new airplane on Saturday. Let’s have some real fun! We’ll take big tarps and hook them to our backs somehow. Then when the plane’s really up there we’ll open the door and jump out!  I’ll bet the tarps will fill up with air and we’ll just float down to the ground.”

“That might not work,” says his friend in an excess of caution.  “Let’s stuff the tarps into our backpacks first. We can figure out some way to get them out on the way down. Maybe we could hook a string on the zipper and pull it open that way.”

“COOL!” Should we ask our moms first?”

“Nah, my mom always has to go shopping on Saturday. She won’t mind.”

Then there’s…..

“Hey Dude, I just got my driver’s license!”

“Me too!”

“I know what! Let’s get all our friends with licenses and make a big road in a circle. We’ll all get in our cars and drive 100 miles an hour around and around in the circle. Then everybody'll tries to pass and get in front without slowing down until somebody gets in an accident and maybe gets killed!”

“Cool!”

“Did you ask your mom if it’s OK?”

“Nah, Dude, she’s not home today.”

There’s more, but you get the picture.

The moral of this story is…..Moms need to keep a sharp eye out for mischief.  

Also, another moral is…. adults should be patient with teenaged boys….their brains aren’t done yet.