Remember the Important Thing

Remember the Important Thing

My very first year of teaching brought me a lesson that became very valuable to me as a parent. 
I was teaching 7th and 8th grade math.  I was part of a group of eight junior high teachers and four “specials,” as we called them. "Specials" taught art, PE and music. 
It was conference time. 
At this school Parent teacher conferences were held in the gym.  The teachers sat at tables around the edge of the basketball court and chairs for parents were lined up in the middle. There were no set appointments because each student had a different teacher for every subject. Parents waited for an opening with the person they wanted to talk to and then could move on to another. 
It was all very efficient.

Well, after many conferences the evening was winding down and I’d had no parents for about 15 minutes. One of the moms sitting and waiting for another teacher came over and sat down to chat. I introduced myself and it turned out that I didn’t have her son in my class. I’d heard about him though.

Soon this Mom began to open up about her son’s teachers and the school. 
She expressed in no uncertain terms her displeasure. 
All involved with her child were idiots who were trying to push her kid around. They’d done the same thing with her older boy. All the things her sons had been accused of were someone else’s fault. 
She’d been down to see the principal several times this year to make sure he knew about his teachers’ stupidity. 
Now she was planning to go to the school board to tell them of the principal’s stupidity. They should all be fired. Her husband felt the same way.

Well, I was new at this parent teacher conference thing, but I was very glad that I didn’t have this particular boy in my class. 
Sensing trouble on the horizon I tried to make small talk on a more neutral topic. I mentioned that I lived in the area and had a child starting at the same high school where her older boy must be attending. I asked about her older son to see if he might know mine or be trying out for the same teams. Anything to steer the conversation in a more positive direction. 
I’ll never forget her answer.

She glanced over to see if there was an opening at the next “idiot” teacher’s table and said, “Oh, he wouldn’t know him. My son quit. He doesn’t go to school anymore.”

I was speechless for a bit and then grateful as she left to see the next idiot. 
Food for thought, to be sure. 
So I began to think. 
This poor young man had been taught powerful lessons about education by his parents. 
His entire life would be affected by what he learned from them. How he spends a huge chunk of his time each day, the people he associates with, the type of home he lives in, the car he drives, where he goes on vacation, what he can provide for his own family will all be influenced. 

As I sadly thought about this young man I began to get concerned about my own family. 
What should my husband’s and my attitude be on this subject with our own kids? 
Well, I finally decided that our attitude should be something quite shocking.
It's that the teacher and the school are always right. 

Now, being a teacher myself I knew very well that the teacher and the school are certainly not always right. 
I myself, was usually wrong at least once before lunch every day. 
But I decided that it was important to our children’s future that they think that their parents were solidly behind the school….pretty much no matter what.

Education would be a top priority in our family. 
If we had issues with teachers or the school we would deal with it without the kids knowing about it. 
I wanted them to believe that even though some teachers will be more skilled than others, they could learn something from all of them. In fact, it was their job to do exactly that. 
It was their important job and responsibility to complete all requirements and to get credit for every class. 
If there were problems they should deal with it. 

A while later I got some feedback on how we were doing with this policy. 
On the way home from school one afternoon two daughters were complaining about a teacher and the unfair policies in his class. 
From the back seat one child asked me if I agreed. Before I could answer, the other one said, “Never mind…with her the teacher is always right!” 

Now I knew perfectly well that the teacher isn’t always right, but my heart went “Woo Hoo!” anyway.

I think it’s crucial for parents to remember something here. 
It’s the old, “It’s important to keep the important thing the important thing.” 
That's the principle that’s at the heart of this parenting issue. 
You see, I don’t have an eternal relationship with the teacher, the school or the principal. It’s not important for me to be “right” when dealing with them. They’ll come and go as the years pass. 
I do have an eternal relationship with my children however. 
I know that an education and completing school will make a difference in their lives in countless ways.

The prophets have told us how important this issue is to all of us. I believe them.
I also believe a parent’s attitude toward school is one thing that may make a huge difference, maybe even for generations to come.