Sunday, January 31, 2016

Sometimes It's The Alarm Clock

I've been thinking about marriage of late.
Maybe it's because Larry and I seem to be really, really, really, married since we both retired.
Twenty four seven as they say. That's how much time we spend together now.
I must admit that on occasion that's nice, but now and then I'm reminded of hard things.
Sometimes when that happens I find that issues from long ago drift to the surface.

One thing that drifted was a time when Larry was behaving like an insensitive lout.
It was back when we lived in the mountains.
I was teaching in a small rural district 17 miles from our little house in the big woods. Larry was driving his beloved 18 wheelers for a highway construction company in a small town about 60 miles away.
So all of us, parents and girls, had a bit of a commute to school and work every day.

Well, Larry had to get up at around 3:00 AM in order to make it to his work on time. The girls and I could sleep till 5:00.
Logically the alarm clock was located on Larry's side of the bed so he could rise and shine when it clanged.
The deal was that he would reset the alarm for the rest of us who then could get those extra two hours of sleep before we had to be up and at it too.

Here's where Larry's insensitive loutish behavior comes in to play.
About twice a week he would forget to reset the alarm!

This caused panic, rushing, missed hairdoing, and or breakfasts among three lovely women he was supposed to care about.

It also caused me to begin to have misgivings and dark thoughts about the depth of love and committment felt by my spouse for me and his entire family.
How could he be so selfish!
How could he not be concerned about our lives and issues!
How could he not care!
And then...even darker.
He never thinks about anyone but himself!
How could I have ever chosen him as an eternal companion!

This biweekly, husbandly, unforgiveably selfish forgetfulness and subsequent wifely murmuring and dark thinking went on for a couple of weeks.

Then there was a breakthrough that I believe was heaven sent.

It was Saturday.
Our family had just made the 50 mile drive down the mountain to do our shopping at the big box discount store in the closest small town. As usual everyone took off on their own as soon as we passed through the doors.
I was drifting through the aisles with my cart when a section devoted to alarm clocks caught my eye.
There they stood all in a row. Wind-up, electric, radio, lighted, plain. One was shaped like a birdhouse.
It was quite a selection.
I slowed down and stopped to think for a minute.
Then I reached out and chose a $6 wind up.

Sunday night I opened the clock box.
I set the alarm for the time when the girls and I needed to get up and put it on my side of the bed.

Then a miracle occurred!

We had no more loutish behavior from Larry.
There were no more uncharitable dark thoughts from me.

I went off to work loving my spouse once again.
He began to look cuter to me.
He seemed to speak more kindly.
Now there was love in his eyes where before there was only selfish indifference!
Amazing.

Now for some very profound marital advice from someone married 50 years.

SOMETIMES IT'S JUST AN ALARM CLOCK.



2 comments:

kansas korner said...

This is a great lesson. We were talking in Sunday school about how the Lord will seldom do something for us that we can do ourselves. I related that my first instinct is to pray for the Lord to remove my trials and that it sometimes takes me a while to start praying to know what I can do to remedy the situation myself.
You write very well and it is a fun read. Thank you.

Toni P said...

Kathy, dear friend, you are always right! It was tender for me to re-read this today after learning you had lost Larry yesterday. My heart grieves that your best friend and love of your life is gone from you for a while. I keep hearing your voice tell me, "Together the two of us are half a person." Watching you and Larry help each other take care of the essentials and ENJOY and APPRECIATE being able to do so blessed my life. Knowing your family blessed our family. May you all be blessed in great measure with the peace and love of our Savior and the love of those who have been blessed by knowing you.