Are All Men Created Equal?

"All men are created equal," is an idea that changed the world. 
Yet, despite it being such a lofty principle, special ed teachers like me may have a little difficulty with that “created equally” thing.  

It’s because we work with precious kids who might seem to be a little bit “less equal” right from the start. 
You see, some of our students are blind or deaf. 
Some have broken bodies or are unable to think or communicate. 
Some have been abused and have been left to deal with emotional issues. 
Many have been affected by alcohol or drugs even before birth. 
Virtually all of them have difficulty dealing with traditional school. 
So for sure, that “All Men Are Created Equal” thing doesn’t always ring true for us.

I really struggled with this for a long time. 
It tested my faith to be honest.
Because often I just couldn’t figure out what God was thinking. I thought He loved us all the same.
Then one particular day at school I began to consider some possibilities at a time when I needed understanding most.

I was working with a young girl in a wheelchair who had multiple disabilities. 
In addition to not being able to walk, she also couldn’t hear or speak and had limited vision. 
She’d been my student for months now but suddenly one morning my heart began to ache for her. 
She started to drool and as I leaned over to wipe her lovely face my thoughts cried out to Heavenly Father. 

“Why, Father? Why is this precious young girl living her life like this? 
I thought you loved all of your children. Do you love her? She’s perfectly innocent. Why is she like this? I don’t understand you!”

Then, through that angry aching at our Father, from somewhere inside my head, came thoughts or impressions. 
Maybe they were things I’d heard or read, or felt.  I don’t really know. It didn't really matter.
Right at that moment this is what went through my thoughts.

“Some of these are valiant spirits who volunteered to come to earth in this manner so that “Great things may be required at the hands of their fathers.”

“Some came only to get bodies as they are mighty, proven spirits who didn’t require the lessons of this life.”

“Some are mighty warriors being protected from the adversary who knows them but has no power to tempt them as they now are.”

Slowly a calm feeling began to replace that ache in my heart. 
And even though I didn’t know if any of those things were true or even possible, it made no difference.
That wasn't the source of the calm.

Peace came because after those thoughts I was given a great gift of knowledge.
And that knowledge made all the difference. It was true and unshakeable and it's sustained me ever since.
Now I was absolutely, positively, undeniably sure of one thing.

It was simply this.

THERE ARE THINGS WE DON'T KNOW !

Yes, there are facts we don’t have. 
But Father has all the facts and he knows everything. 
He’s promised that He is a God of justice and will take care of what we see as injustice from our perspective in this life. 

WE NEED TO TRUST HIM.  FATHER CAN BE TRUSTED. 

Father says that he is no “respecter of persons.” He says that all of his children are of equal “value” to him. He says we are all precious and loved by Him.

WE NEED TO BELIEVE HIM.  FATHER TELLS THE TRUTH.

Then I thought about the scriptures…… Heavenly Father's thoughts.  Isn’t that what they are?
In the Book of Mormon we’re told, “Thou shall not esteem one flesh above another.” 

Now there’s an enlightened and life changing idea for you! 
That one goes light years past “all men are created equal” doesn’t it?

Blind, deaf, broken or whole. Rich, poor, male or female. Powerful or humble. Strong and healthy or weak and frail. Educated or unlearned. Black, white, red or yellow. Perhaps even born and unborn.

All of equal VALUE. 

All esteemed the same by our eternal Heavenly Father and so should be by each of us. 
That’s what it says.

Yes, on that day I began to believe that we’ll see each of God’s children restored, their bodies and minds whole. 
He made that part of the plan. 
I began to believe that great blessings will come to each of my special kids and all will agree that Heavenly Father showed perfect love and perfect justice to every one of them. 
Including my beautiful student in the wheelchair.

Love. Justice. Equality. 
Opportunity for growth. 
Every one of God’s children will have it. 
Everyone loved with perfect love.  We'll all see it clearly one day.

Knowing that helped me. I hope it helps you too.

The Hardest Test

Wildfire season comes like clockwork out West, just a few weeks after the snows melt in the high country. With it come the “Hotshot” crews, those specially trained young people who spend their summers struggling to save wild lands and animals, people and their homes. They once stopped a fire just a few miles from our place on the Rim. Early this summer in Arizona a terrible wildfire ended the earthly lives of nineteen of these brave young firefighters. Dozens, even hundreds, of those they left behind now mourn. These young men were beloved husbands, sons, fathers, grandsons, brothers, and dear friends. They were called away in the very prime of life, finishing their mission here on earth decades before anyone expected them to move on. The prayers of millions go out to Father on behalf of their loved ones who must suffer terrible grief at this time.

I’d like to share some thoughts with the hope that it may help someone.

It’s said that life is full of tests. In fact one of the purposes of coming to earth, besides to obtain a physical body, and build an eternal family, is to prove that we can come up with the right answer when life gives us a test. Some tests challege us, or disappoint us, or cause us to grapple with hard decisions. But none, I think, is as difficult as when you’re asked for a response when you must stand over the open grave of someone you love more than life itself. Hearts then are so broken and grief weighs so heavy that it’s hard even to breathe. Even so, generations to come may feel the effects of the answers that must be given at that time.

During my life I’ve watched people take that test and it’s taught me some great lessons. One was my mother. She was just in her thirties when her test came. She and my dad were the parents of four children....ages two to eleven. I was the oldest but even at my young age I knew that they were deeply in love. We had just moved into a brand new home. Our loving family was full of promise. Then, one night, on his way home from work, our dad was killed in a car accident. A young man still in his thirties, husband and father of four young children, gone in an instant, our lives never to be the same.

At the time all I could do was to think of my own childish grief and pain. Later I realized that the burden my mother carried was far greater. She’d lost the love and center of her life, her husband and the father of her children. Life seldom deals a crueler blow.

So there she stood, over that open grave, and life asked her to respond.

What she said affected all of our lives forever.

She said “I can’t bear this pain. I can’t live without him. I can’t go on. I’m in complete despair. There’s no hope. The pain has to stop!”

So she tried to stop the pain with alcohol.

It began the week my father died. I never saw the mother that I had known before again, and it ended her life many years before she actually died. I realized later that both of our parents were taken in that terrible car crash.

After I grew up and married, my husband and I learned some important truths and became Mormons. After years in the city we took our family to live in a small community in the Arizona mountains. There was a large LDS population there. It was the kind of place where everybody knew each other so well that people joked, “You don’t need to put on your turn signal, we know where you’re going.” In that small town, where neighbors often became dear friends, that’s where I saw others take this same kind of test.

One was a sister that I worked with in Young Women’s. She was a happy wife and mother of five and a joy to be around. Her family was her life. Her oldest daughter was the first to go off to college, an incredibly lovely, amazing and valiant young woman not yet twenty. She was killed in a highway accident in her first year at University of Arizona.

Another test was taken by the family of one of my gradeschool students. A beautiful little brother...a smiling toddler full of life... drowned one sunny summer day. Their family was heartbroken.

And so there they stood. Over that open grave. Laying young people to rest before they had a chance to fulfill the dreams that all had for them.

I looked hard at their faces. There with hearts broken and tears streaming they took that hardest of tests. The one that will affect generations to come. This is the answer I saw through their grief.

I saw hope.  

I could barely believe it, but incredibly, through those tears I saw hope instead of despair.

I saw something more too. Later as they went on living I saw them give other answers to that hardest of tests.  They said with the way they lived their lives.........

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, Heavenly Father that this amazing person is a part of my family! Thank you that we loved each other so very much and always will.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, Heavenly Father that you sent your son Jesus Christ to come to earth. Thank you that he completed his mission and conquered death so that we may all live again!”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, that because of Christ’s mission I know in my very soul that I’ll hold my dear one in my arms again someday! Not one hair missing....in the flesh. Thank you for this promise.”

“Thank you, thank you, for the sealing ordinances of the temples....that temples dot the entire earth and that even at this very moment husbands and wives are being sealed together forever.....that they never have to say those most awful words...... “til death do we part,” but instead..... “For time and eternity.”

“Thank you, thank you, that children can be sealed to their parents in forever families. I know that my loved ones and I will be together forever.”

“Thank you, thank you, that you’ve promised to ease our grief many times in the scriptures. “Blessed are they that mourn,” you said, “for they shall be comforted.” You know that true comfort will only come on the day I hold them in my arms again. You’ve promised that it will.”

“Thank you, thank you, Father that I know these things are true. Thank you for my faith. Please stay with me through the darkest days of my life and help me to live the rest of it in a way that will make my loved one proud. Let the love we feel for each other continue to bring joy. Do not leave my side, Father, I need thee every hour in order to make it through these days.”

What a difference to the future those answers made! Those whose answers were hope and gratitude instead of despair and bitterness changed lives forever. Those who knew that love is stronger than death were able to go on with their own missions and live beautiful, useful lives.

As I progressed in the gospel I learned some other things about life and death that also helped me.

 

I learned that our lives did not begin here. We were spirit children of our Father in Heaven and lived with Him before this earthly life. We learned eternal truths while there. We kept promises and have a glorious past. We were valiant and faithful. We each chose to come to earth to continue learning and growing. One of the reasons for this was to see if we could live by eternal truths. That’s the testing part. It’s like so many of the things we learn, I think, like driving a car, or swimming, or baking a cake even. You can read about it or listen to someone explain it, they can even show you how it’s done, but you’ll never know if you can do it yourself until you get behind the wheel, or in the water, or start mixing batter. We needed to see if we could apply the truths we’d learned from Father. We needed to know if we could live what we said we believed.

Sorrow, pain and death were not a surprise either. We knew they’d be a part of every single life and yet, even knowing that, we shouted for joy at the prospect of coming to earth.

I learned too that human life has been compared to a three act play. Our life here is the most challenging second act. This is the part where problems and challenges enter and where we prove and define our character. Do we live lives of truth or deceit, faith or disbelief, service or selfishness, laziness or hard work, or a hundred other qualities? We said we believed in Father’s plan before we came here, but now we have the chance to prove that we can indeed live it, sometimes in the midst of great difficulty.

I learned too that those we love and who have died are not floating around with wings on some cloud. They’re recognizable in the spirit and are not far from us here on earth. They’re with many beloved family members and friends busy working, helping and learning. Some may be allowed to assist those they loved who are still here finishing their own missions. They’ve gained important knowledge that will serve them throughout eternity. Heavenly Father loves them dearly as he loves each of those they left behind for a short time. They’ll be waiting for us when we finish up.

I know too that those we love wouldn’t want our deep feelings for them to cause us unbearable sorrow for long. I know they want us to be happy and successful in completing our own missions, whatever they might be.

So, life’s hardest test.

Most of us will take it someday.

It’s important to remember though, that there’s another day that will surely come after that. One of the happiest we’ll ever know.

When it comes for me I’ll see my dad again. I know he’ll  give me one of his big hugs. I hope he’ll say “Hey, brown eyes, you did a pretty good job. There were some really tough times mixed in with the great ones but you made me proud through it all.”

My sincere prayers go to Father on behalf of those who are at this moment in the midst of the hardest test.

I pray that each of them will remember hope. Remember faith. Remember that love is stronger than death. Remember that families are forever. It makes all the difference.

One day you will hold him in your arms again, alive and well. That’s a promise from our Father who loves us more than we can even imagine.

Blessed By Adversity

The Lord loves me.  I know this because I’ve been blessed with some pretty significant adversity of late.  Significant in my estimation anyway. Among other things it’s been an opportunity to learn for me.  And a chance for my family to practice patience and long-suffering.  They really needed that.  In the midst of this I had a birthday. One of those milestone ones like 18 or 21. This particular birthday actually comes with a little card to carry in your wallet. It’s kind of like the driver’s license you can get when you turn 16 but not as much fun. This one says essentially, “You’re now officially old, recognized by the government and everything. Carry this geezer card with you at all times.” Great. That got me to thinking about old age. And that got me to thinking about becoming decrepit, something I know a little bit about already.

Well, this is what I figured. There must be some sort of universal lesson that millions of us need to learn by becoming old. Think about it. If you live long enough you’ll eventually become old. If you’re old long enough you’ll probably know something about decline and disability. It must be part of the plan. Though for the life of me I can’t figure out what Heavenly Father was thinking. It seems backwards to me. Just as I’ve learned enough to be of some real use in the world my body goes south on me and I’m the one who needs help. Just when I know exactly what to do to make modern education meaningful and effective I have to retire from teaching early and before I’m ready. Wouldn’t it be better to get more powerful physically as we get wiser with each year? Once again I’m reminded that Heavenly Father’s thoughts are not my thoughts. I’m anxious to talk with Him about this.  But not too anxious.

In the meantime I’d like to ask all of you with working body parts to lend a hand to old people. For one thing you can be pretty sure they hurt. I’m reminded of my husband’s sweet aunt Anne who once told me that she was frustrated with her doctor when she went to see him for relief from some sort of pain she was having. He looked at her and said in exasperation, “Good grief, you’re 80 years old! You’re gonna hurt.” Indeed.

So, hold that door for the old man with the cane and the nice white haired lady on the cart. It’s a sure bet that they hurt somewhere. And remember, “What goes around comes around.” Someday perhaps a young person will hold the door for you. I’ve always liked what Marjorie Hinckley, wife of a prophet, is quoted as saying, “Hold the door for everyone you meet. All are carrying a heavy load whether you can see it or not.”

I’d like to share something I’m grateful to have learned about this “old” subject. Tennyson said it eloquently in lines from his poem “Ulysses” which I was reminded of recently, and which means so much more to me now than when I first read it in my youth.

“It may be that the gulfs will wash us down.

It may be that we will touch the happy isles.

Much has been taken but much abides.

Though we are not now that strength which in old days moved earth and heaven,

What we are we are.

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will.

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”

I think Tennyson would make a good Mormon. He knows something about that enduring to the end thing. It’s not about sitting around I can tell you. That never yielding takes some grit.

My husband gets Tennyson. That’s one of the things I love about him. He’s a simple man but he’s not stupid. I know he understands because recently I read some of “Ulysses” to him to get his reaction. He gazed off in deep thought and then said pensively, “So let’s see if I understand. One of us is unable to stand or take a single step and is in a lot of pain, the other one is nearly blind, can’t hear worth beans and falls down all the time. Right?”

“Right,” I replied.

“So when are we going to Disneyland, Babe?” he said brightly.

I told you he understood.

So, we went to see if the gulfs would wash us down last month. Our kids had a rescue posse all organized even before we left. They thought we were crazy. We felt bad to worry them so much but then there were many times when we worried plenty over them, didn’t we? Anyway, Heavenly Father blessed us and we “touched the happy isle” instead of being washed away. We weren’t able to ride a single ride as in the old days but we couldn’t believe the beauty of the place. Flowers were blooming everywhere. A huge monarch butterfly actually landed on a perfect yellow rose right next to the bench where we were waiting for a parade. I don’t remember that ever happening before in the many times we’ve been to that “happiest of places." Maybe because we were always running off to do it all and didn't notice. Thank you Father for tender mercies once again!

Sometimes I think Heavenly Father has a soft spot for crazy old people. They must be part of the plan.

Peach Trees

There’s this thing about obedience. I learned about it because of some peach trees. It’s kind of a long story but I’ll share it because it’s stayed with me over the years.

Way back in the day, our young family bought a new house. It was only a tract home, but in a new subdivision, and we were all excited to have a bigger place. This new house was on a cul-de-sac and had the biggest backyard in the whole neighborhood. It was huge. We thought this was a good thing because we were planning to plant lots of fruit trees. The Prophet had recently encouraged the members of the church to grow gardens, berries, and fruit trees wherever possible. We were especially anxious to be obedient as converts often are.

I thought this was wonderful counsel by the way. 
Just think what a difference it would make if everyone who could possibly do so grew some kind of food. Why, even city dwellers could grow tomatoes and herbs in pots on a windowsill. 
Church members were being encouraged to produce what the world needed, not just to consume it. This was an example of the “great things coming about through small means” principle. 
I loved our Prophet. His counsel was inspired.

So, we moved to our new house in September. In the desert southwest where we live, December is bare root tree planting time. This was when we would plant trees. Lots of trees. Our yard was now a barren wasteland but we could see a green orchard in our mind’s eye.

At last the time came when the trees went on sale. If you’re not familiar with them, bare root trees and bushes look a bit like large sticks. At the nursery one gets carried away because they’re so small and are so cheap compared to trees that come in containers. In a frenzy of obedient enthusiasm, we bought 27 fruit trees and berry bushes even though the nursery guy said large sized holes were needed for each of them. “Soil prep is the most important thing,” he cautioned. Well, we weren’t afraid of work. The Prophet had said we were to grow things after all. 
27 holes……. that was a lot of digging for sure…….. but it was the right thing. We’d be blessed.

So we hauled the trees home and soaked the roots in wheelbarrows, buckets and tubs as instructed. Then we headed out into the wasteland to start digging.

Larry is a big, strong man and he started in the corner of the yard on the first hole. After a little while, I looked up to see that there was some kind of trouble. He wasn’t pushing the shovel into the ground as he usually did when digging. He was teetering on the top edge with both feet, kind of bouncing around a bit. The blade was about an inch into the ground. I called out to him, “What’s wrong, Hon?” He called back, “They must have spilled cement over here when they were building. I’ll have to try a new spot.” He moved to a place at the end of the fence. After a minute or so I looked up to see that same, strange, bouncing with both feet on the shovel thing. He moved again. Same bounce. He tried all over that great big yard. The shovel wouldn’t penetrate more than an inch anywhere. He tried soaking with the hose. After the water finally soaked in, the shovel went an inch to the dry part and hit “cement” again. He came over to me and said, “Call someone. This isn’t right.”

I called the builder. He said that no cement had been dumped in our yard. I called the nursery guy who’d told us we had to dig large holes. He was no help. Finally I called the University of Arizona Agricultural Extension Department. A very nice and knowledgeable man said he knew exactly what our problem was.

“What?” I asked gratefully.

He said, “Caliche.”

“Caliche…. What’s that? I asked.

“It’s a type of soil mineral common in some areas of the desert.” he replied. “Sometimes it’s called “calcrete.” That’s your problem.”

“What’s the solution?” I asked.

“Move,” he replied. (I swear he really said that!)

Of course we couldn’t move so we bought some soil additives which he said might help. This was very expensive. Then we headed out into the wasteland armed with picks, shovels and the hose. We developed a system. Use the pick to create a hole about an inch deep. Fill it with water and expensive additives. Wait for it to soak in while working on the next hole. Use the shovel to dig out the inch of mud. Use the pick again, repeat.

Several days later we were still out in the wasteland digging holes. Every spare minute was spent with a pick or a shovel in our blistered hands. We were now trying to get these dang trees and bushes planted before the soaking roots rotted. I stood up to rub my aching back and wipe the sweat that was running into my eyes…… in December……when I had an experience that’s stayed with me since. As I stood up my eyes went over our fence to the horizon. The next block of houses were still in construction so I could see a long way off. I noticed that I could even see the top of our new ward’s meeting house clear over on Thunderbird Road. That must be miles away, I guessed. As I saw the church I began to think heavy thoughts. “We’re trying to be obedient to the Lord. Why is this so hard? This shouldn’t be so hard! We’re only trying to do what’s right. We’re only trying to do what the prophet asked us to do. When people are trying to do a good thing it shouldn’t be this hard! Every time I try to do something just because the Lord wants me to, it’s just plain too hard! It’s just not worth all this trouble. People shouldn’t have sweat running in their eyes in December! All of us would rather go in the house and watch a movie instead of digging these dumb holes!” The heavy thoughts in my head grew to a loud wail that I could almost hear.

That’s when it happened. As I looked across to the church it seemed as if a little white cloud came drifting across the desert. It came right over to our fence and just hung there. In the cloud there was a scripture written like words are written in a comic strip. It said, “Cursed is the ground for thy sake.”

Cursed is the ground for thy sake? What in blazes is that supposed to mean? Why did that come floating over the desert to hang in the air over our wasteland? Why now? Where had I read that in the scriptures anyway? I began to recall…for one thing I thought this was something that was said to Adam after he had disobeyed in the Garden. “Cursed is the ground for thy sake.” That’s an interesting way to put it for sure. Adam was in trouble for not obeying Father as I remembered. He could have been told……..You never listen! Now you’re going to be punished…….. or……..You’re bad! You’ll be sorry now…….or…. When will you ever learn! This’ll teach you! Adam could have been told any of those things but instead he was told that the ground was cursed for his sake. For his sake.

Usually when something is done for a person’s sake it’s to help them, isn’t it? How could ground cursing help anybody? I thought hard……. leaning on my shovel…… over the 18th miserable hole of my patch of cursed ground.

After a long while I reluctantly thought, "Well, maybe the right thing isn’t supposed to be easy." Could that be it? 
These darn holes had sure developed the muscles in my arms, anyway. And I wasn’t giving up. I was determined to plant the dang things. So was Larry. Our resolve to do something hard was strengthening. Now it was partly because we couldn’t waste the money, but nevertheless. Our kids had been out here helping. They knew we were trying to follow the Prophet. That was a good thing for them to know. I guess I had to admit there were some positives in this miserable situation.

The right thing isn’t always supposed to be easy? Really? Could that be important? Maybe we develop strength or empathy or patience or some other thing we need when we have to struggle. Maybe obedience and those other qualities are skills that grow with practice, like playing the piano. Was that part of the ground cursing thing? Could this be Heavenly Father’s plan? I know He loves us….He wants us to be strong and determined to do right……could cursed ground help? It was something for a raggedy old convert to think more about. Ponder even.

Well, many of those bare root trees and bushes didn’t survive in our caliche infested soil. But a few peach trees did. I remember some years later working in our backyard and having to devise a support for one branch of a peach tree because it was so heavy with peaches that it threatened to break. That was the year that I made my first jar of peach jam. The peaches for that jam came from our own tree.

New blessings from old obedience.

Who knew? Maybe it’s not supposed to be easy. Ponder on it.