Back to School Lesson No. 1: Body Language Basics For Kids With Learning Disabilities: Greeting People

School's starting soon!
Opportunity awaits. All kinds of it.
For one thing, this is a great time for parents to work with their special needs kids in areas where they could use a bit of a boost. Or for a big brother or sister to make a real difference in the life of that pesky someone they have as their own for eternity.
If you love a kid with learning difficulties try these simple but potentially life-changing activities. It could mean better personal relationships for them and the prospect of increased success in school.
How can you pass up an opportunity like that?

Somebody once wrote a book about how difficult it is to become friends with someone who has a learning disability such as dyslexia. I wish I could remember the title and author so I could give credit where it's due.
I do remember the point though.
The idea was that kids with dyslexia often have trouble reading more than just the written word. Reading people is often just as difficult for them.

We know that messages sent by facial expression, tone of voice, and body language are often more important than the words people say.  And that's where the "reading" difficulty starts for these kids. They often miss the point here. And it can cause huge problems.
Making friends being one. Making enemies instead being another.
I found this to be true with many of my special ed high school students.

Think about how detrimental it would be to your social life if you couldn't tell if someone was bored, telling a lie, nervous, nauseous, in love or in a hurry, by understanding the messages sent in their faces or body language.
Imagine the mistaken everyday communications if you didn't account for sarcasm or joking in people's tone of voice.
What if you took every word literally?
When a parent, boss, brother, or girlfriend says, "Thanks a lot," "Sure, I believe you," or "No, why should I be upset with you!" it can mean very different things, depending on tone of voice or facial expression, can't it?
What if you didn't get that?
What if YOU sent out body language that was rude, stand-off-ish, or unfriendly when you actually meant just the opposite?
What if this happened with every person you interacted with throughout the day? Throughout the week? Lifetime?
How would that affect your personal or professional relationships?

There is hope though. Just as there is in most things.
Education helps. Just as it does in most things.

Direct instruction works here because these kids aren't stupid. In fact many of them are brilliant. They know something's wrong and they would fix it if they knew what or how.
So here's the first in a series of "Basic Communication Skills for Kids With Learning Disabilities."
I'll keep each lesson short. Dyslexics don't like to read anything too long.

GREETING PEOPLE

As you go about your day keep your head up and a pleasant but non-smiling expression on your face.
When you encounter someone do the following:

Look at the person. Do not smile yet.
As you walk along, look directly at the bridge of their nose, between both eyes. (Looking directly into their eyes may be too intense for some people.)
WAIT,  just a half second.
Now SMILE and say "Hey, (Name of person)," as you walk along.

Practice this carefully with members of your family until it becomes easy to do.

---Head up, pleasant expression, no smile. Someone comes along.
---Look between their eyes as you walk.
---WAIT.
---SMILE.
--- Say,  "Hey, (Name of person)."
---Keep walking.

The short wait to smile after looking is important.
If you go around smiling all the time you may look weird.
Smiling AFTER you see someone seems like you were especially happy to see them.
Have a friend practice this smile procedure on you and you'll see what a difference that little wait makes.

Do this with everybody you meet until it becomes automatic.

This will take PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE.
But it can change your life. I promise.

Next time: Personal Space