The Glue Called "Good Times"

Some years back the Prophet and the apostles issued the Family Proclamation.

It's an inspired document filled with eternal truths about many things. But in the end it's really about what most of the rest of the gospel is about.
How to live a happy life.

I have a copy framed on the wall of my living room.
The entire document is full of inspiration, but one of the things I love most about "The Proclamation" is that it makes official something I've always believed.
For, lo and behold, it turns out that "Have a good time!" is now an eternal principle that's printed right there in black and white!
You see, if you hearken, you'll find the words "wholesome recreational activities" right there in the same sentence as faith, prayer, forgiveness and love.

So, I pondered, and I figured out what this means. It might mean that having fun together as a family is really important.
And Heavenly Father wanted us to remember it so much that he inspired his Prophet and apostles to remind us.
Yes, good times are one of the things that lead to happiness.
Hurray! I think I can do that one!

Remember, though, that since that counsel was issued in the "Family" proclamation, I think it's safe to assume that the fun should be had WITH other family members.
Golf or hunting with the guys, shopping or movie trips with girlfriends, long, solitary hours with a hobby may not count here.
Don't get me wrong, those things may have a place in a balanced life, but I think having good times with your eternal family is what The Proclamation is talking about.

You see, it turns out that wholesome recreation with those you love is like a special brand of superglue.
It's the glue called "Good times."
And I can testify that it's one of the things that's kept our family bound together over the years.

Traveling, camping on the beach, theme parks, and all things Disney became great favorites of our family, but the proclamation doesn't specify what kind of good times to have. That's entirely up to you.
It can be horses, hikes, boats, baseball, kites, cars, picnics, panning for gold, stamp collecting, skiing, or sports. Or anything else the whole family enjoys doing together.
The only rule, I think, is that everybody has to enjoy it.
And since everybody means toddlers to grown-ups, that can sometimes be a challenge.
That's why beach camping and Disney parks worked so well for us. Everyone, no matter what age, always had fun.
But whatever works for your bunch is great.
And the "whatever works" can change as your family grows and changes too.

Be advised that teenagers can sometimes be a special challenge.
So be creative.
My brother Matt once told me about a summer roller coaster quest his family went on when their youngest boys were in their teens. They searched the country and found great coasters all over the place, even in unlikely spots like Ohio.
Now, I personally, hardly ever enjoy myself when nauseated, but the reports were that all of them had tons of fun.
And may God bless my dear sister-in-law for being such a good sport.

Then there was one summer when our 15 year old son and 17 year old daughter didn't want to leave their friends to go on our San Diego Zoo and beach trip.
So we took the friends along and watched all of them body surfing in Malibu.

Be warned to expect other obstacles when trying to follow this inspired counsel though.
Sacrifices may have to be made and priorities straighteded up in some cases, and doubts and fears may try to dissuade you.
Thoughts may come creeping in. Thoughts like, "It's too much money," "The kids are too little," "Somebody might get sick," "We'll get lost on the freeways," "There'll be an earthquake," "The car might break down, the plane might crash, the train might derail, the ship might sink, terrorists might attack."  Blah, blah blah.

Yes, those dredded, "blah, blah blah, blah's,"  may sneak into your thinking.

Well, guess who doesn't want you to build eternal happy memories with the people you love?
Guess who's sending that blah?

I shudder to think of what we'd have missed if we let fear win these little skirmishes.

Since money was usually an issue for us we did without some things in order to make "Glue" possible.
For example, growing up, our daughters never owned a "designer' anything.
The latest electronic gadget was not to be found at our house.
Larry never golfed or had other expensive hobbies and I never shopped and lunched with the ladies.

Currently, I am proud to know, and in fact be related to, a young married couple who buy clothes at discount stores but who run off together several times a year.
They just returned from a wonderful trip to Yellowstone and Mount Rushmore.
Twenty years from now do you think they'll look back on the designer clothes they used to wear, or the good times and adventures they had together?
These wonderful young people are recent converts and I'm so happy that they already understand this principle and apply it in their lives.
A baby is now on the way to join their family. Everyone who knows them is thrilled.
I'm making them a gift.
It's a travel pillow that fits around the safety belt of a car seat.  It lets a small child sleep peacefully while heading for fun.

A word of caution here.
It's important to remember that traveling together as a couple or a family is a learned skill. It'll take more than one trip to iron out the kinks and arrive at a workable style.
Don't give up though, the payoffs are huge.

Traveling with babies and toddlers is a "for instance."
First you must understand that babies are the people who make the rules on trips.
If everybody wants to have a great time, the big people have to figure out and follow the baby rules.

Some of the rules our babies made included making the longest drives at night. That way small people could sleep at their regular time. Then after we arrived Larry took a nap while I got the family dressed for fun and frolic.
We also included stopping often for potty breaks, food, and exercise. We read books out loud on the long stretches, and carried familiar snack food in a fanny pack. If at all possible hotels must have a pool for swimming right after confinement in the car or for breaks from hot afternoons of fun.
I remember Kim telling me that in their family it was Scott's job to chase the little kids around and around at rest stops while she made sandwiches. I saw him do this once. It was a riot.

Some people say to wait until the kids get older. Their next words are usually, "So they can really appreciate it."
Well, we never waited for kids to get older.
They did appreciate it.
And now they're older.

And today a grown woman and I have a memory of a Saturday morning long ago.
I recall that it had been an especially hard week.
Our seven year old daughter came running into our room at 6 am, jumped on the bed, and said wistfully, "Gee, it's been a long time since we went to the beach."

We all looked at each other's tired, desert dry faces. Then we jumped up, hollered for the others, and began to hastily pack our "no-name" tennies and Walmart t-shirts for what we called a "Bun burner."
We figured we could make it to the beach in time for a sunset picnic.
It was beautiful.
"Bun burners" are among our most cherished memories.

And, every so often fun together can be even more than superglue.
It can be a healing balm.
I remember one time when our two youngest girls and I were laboriously pushing Larry in a wheelchair along the gravel paths of the San Diego Wild Animal Park.
Larry had been released not too long before from a month's hospital stay. He'd had major surgery after a horrible car accident. There had even been days when it was life or death. Months of rehab lay ahead. He still couldn't walk.
We'd all been worried, scared out of our minds and off balance for a long, long while.
But, despite everything, Larry insisted on going on a trip.
Crazy as it was, no amount of reasoning could dissuade him.
Well, that particular good time together saved our collective sanities.
Those few days of wholesome recreation made us all feel like everything would really be all right again for the first time in a long while.
We came back filled with hope.
Yes, now and then more than glue. Sometimes good times can be the best medicine.

So, perhaps now tis the season for you to pack up your gang and head for the hills.
Have a picnic, go kite flying, set up a tent at a favorite campground or even the backyard.
Shake hands with Mickey Mouse or hike up some scenic wonders.
Marvel at a Renoir at a city museum or a herd of elk in wilderness mountains. Gaze at glaciers, geysers, or volcanoes at a national park. Listen to seals barking off the Oregon coast or a world famous choir in Salt Lake City. Ride a train through a desert canyon or drive your car through an immense live tree in an ancient redwood forest. Maybe you can watch fish jump in the Mississippi or a storm break over the Grand Canyon.
Maybe your entire family can get "Disneyknees" together. That's the familiar affliction that strikes young and old alike after having had too much of a good thing.
And then when you're too tired from being too happy, you can sit on a bench with someone who loves you and watch the night sky fill up with fireworks.

Over the years I've known some families who didn't heed this counsel found in the Proclamation.
Everybody in them had their own kind of fun separately.
Sadly, some of them aren't together anymore.

Don't neglect this principle of the gospel.
It turns out that glue can be really important.